Harassment Recovery. Harassment Recovery is all about EMPOWERMENT and taking back what was lost through the harassment experience. I found that working through the steps below helped me to try to come to terms with all that had happened. I also found that as I progressed, I also went back to some stages, jumped ahead to others, and stayed stuck in some for longer than I anticipated. The recovery process will not always go in order, we are all individuals. The guidelines below are just to help you formulate an idea of what will be necessary for harassment recovery. Embody the experience Make it your own. Put everything in order Overcome your emotions Work through the experience. Exhale. Let it go. Retake control of your life. Make a new start. Embrace your power. Network with others Take initiative and action. Embody the experience Embody the harassment experience. Come to terms with your harassment. Though similar to acceptance, embodying takes a holistic approach towards incorporating harassment into your life experience. Where acknowledgement is mostly a mental function, embodying is every part of you coming to terms with this experience. If you can not acknowledge and embody the experience then it will be very difficult to move forward. Make it your own Take ownership of the experience. This happened to me, not someone else, me. Along with this stage there may well come a great deal of anger and resentment. You would hardly be human if there was not. Once you own the experience, it's the first stage to reclaiming some of your power that was lost. Own the experience, don't let it own you. Overcome what you have been through, don't let it overcome you. Part of taking ownership of the experience is to be able to talk about it. You may at this stage not feel comfortable talking about it to close friends or family, seek out online or offline support. Start a journal where you document and write about the experience. Put everything in order. Put it all in order. start at the beginning. How did this first start happening? When did it escalate? When did you loose control of the situation? When did the harassment finally start to take a hold of you? When did you finally start to take a hold of it? When did you choose to take back control of your life? What are some of the significant events of this situation that really stand out in your mind? There is still probably going to be a great deal of pain and resistance at this stage, but you have to touch base and connect with the pain, it's part of who you are now, but it does not have to be all that you are. Cry some more if you have to, but feel yourself growing stronger as you go through each stage and start to fully own the experience. It's not owning you anymore, you are starting to own it. Overcome your emotions. Overcoming your emotions is one of the hardest part of accepting this experience. Often holding on to the anger has been a source of power that we embraced and made friends with to survive. To finally let go of this emotion is difficult, but it's the only way to move forward. There are many emotions that you will need to work through anger is just one of them. Anger Betrayal Crying Doubt Guilt Hurt Pain Rage Resentment Shame All the preceding emotions are fully justified. An individual or individuals have just spent months, or years, attacking you on many different levels, it's ok to feel these emotions and to have these reactions. Finally if you are going to move forward you need to find that place of acceptance. You have been through an experience this happened to you. This might also be a good stage to start to talk about what happened, write about what happened, or join a forum or discussion group. Work through the experience This experience had value it meant something, it impacted your life. Talk or write about how this experience changed you. How did it affect you? How does it still function and work in your life? Go through all and everything that this has meant to you. This was an intimate and impacting experience, it had value and substance, it affected your life, and you need to work through the experience. Exhale. Let it all out. This happened and you survived. It's time to let it out and start to let it go. Just like in the movie, there comes a time when we must exhale. Take a big deep symbolic breath, breath it in, let it work it's way through your system and then exhale. Repeat as many times as necessary. It's an emotional cleansing, you need to exfoliate the emotional dirt and filth collected in your cells due to this experience. With each symbolic breath let out all the pain, trauma, self doubt, all the remaining negative emotion. Let it all out, then move onto the next step. Retake control of your life. Retake control of your life. This is your life and you have every right to live, work, play in a harassment free environment. Retake the control that your harassers have had over your mind, emotions, and body. It's your life and no one can take it unless you let them. Retake it, it belongs to you, not to them. Make a new start. Make a new start in every aspect of your life. Start with your mind, motivate your body and your being. There are many ways to start fresh. You can start fresh on many different levels. Meditate Get out and go for walks Move to a new area Start a new job Start a new course Start a new life journey Talk to one new person Take small steps to regain the things that were taken away from you, the little thing that others take for granted. Do a little bit every day. Embrace your power. Embrace your power by taking action and know that you have choices. You do not have to be a victim, embrace your power through simple actions. Form a plan of action. Publish your story. Take your harassers to court. Begin to move past what happened to you. You need to remember who you were before this experience began, and you need to find the person you are going to become, now that you have gone through this experience. Network with others. Networking with others will help you get back into life. It may not exactly be the life you had before harassment, but you can start to live again. You may need to form some new networks. Once you have been harassed, you will discover that the old networks you relied on are no longer valid for the kind of support you now need. Form a new support network, make some new friends. You can network with people online, and offline. Some people find that re-establishing old networks are useful. If you want to do this, it's your right to do so. In my personal experience I had to disconnect with my old network. For my healing process, I had to start anew. Part of the network you are establishing might involve councillors, doctors, lawyers, people that are active in other harassment movements. Once you have been through this experience it's really helpful to be in touch with others who have the same shared experience. Take initiative and action. Give back to others, and you will find that you get something in return. There are many ways you can give back to others. Share your experience. Become a speaker for your harassment cause. Giving your time and lend a supportive ear to someone else. Start a website or join a website. Share your experience and knowledge with others. Publish your story. Become an advocate for your cause. Form a support or discussion group. There are so many simple things you can do, to help someone who is going through the experience for the first time. After surviving harassment, you will find that you are stronger and you now have something that you can give back. You have your personal power, a voice, and a shared experience. Helping out others empowers your life like nothing else, you are no longer a passive victim, but a potential motivator who can help others.