What is stalking.

Stalking describes a range of behaviours in which one person inflicts on another repeated, unwanted intrusions to such an extent that the victim fears for his or her safety.

  • The core behaviours associated with stalking involve:
  • following
  • loitering nearby
  • maintaining surveillance/spying
  • intrusive approaches
  • unwanted telephone calls
  • unwanted letters, faxes or email
  • (sometimes leaving notes attached to the victim's property, such as car windscreens,doors, etc).
  • Manipulative behavior, such as threatening suicide in order to get a response
  • Sending written messages, letters, e-mail, instant messages, graffiti, etc.
  • Sending gifts, either romantic (flowers, jewelry, etc.) or bizarre (inappropriate personal items, dead animals, violent or disturbing art)
  • Lying to others about you (claims of infidelity, your cruel behavior, etc.)
  • Threatening you, your friends or family (13,14)


    Stalker categories


    It seems that there are many different types of stalkers however they seem to fit into three main categories.

    Personal Stalker- This can be a known or unknown person who stalks an individual for various reasons.

    Celebrity Stalker- This person stalks a know celebrity.

    Cyberstalker- Even cyberspace is no longer safe from this type of perpetrator.

    These are the three main categories that stalkers seem to fit into. Within these categories you then have the various stalker types.


    Stalker types


    The Rejected: As a result of a breakup, this stalker acts out of the desire to mend a relationship and desperation to continue contact.

    The Resentful: The stalker may be a former friend or partner or an acquaintance. The goal of the stalker is to frighten and distress the victim because of feelings of injustice and desire for revenge.

    The Incompetent: These people want intimacy, but the victim is not interested. They lack sufficient skills in appropriate courtship behavior.

    The Predatory: The power and control that comes from stalking gives this individual a great deal of enjoyment. This type is only common at the end of an abusive relationship.

    The Intimacy Seeker: This type is the most highly publicized, but the least common. The stalker typically suffers from a mental illness or holds morbid infatuation with someone, often a celebrity. They view the victim as their “true love” and feel entitled to contact him or her.
    (14)


    Effects of stalking.

    (a) 93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their personal relationships.
    (b) Of those victims currently in romantic relationships, 71 % indicate that being stalked created conflict in their romantic relationships, most often reporting that their current romantic partner was jealous of or intimidated by the stalker.
    (c) 63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing enough to deter their stalker.
    (d) Nearly 38% of stalking victims reported losing time from school or work as a result of being stalked. Some indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to escape the always-present terror they experienced.
    (e) Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.
    (f) Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.
    (15)


    How to stop stalking

    No research has systematically examined what specific strategies may work best to end stalking. It has been hypothesized that anti-stalking strategies will only be effective if they can overcome the unique motivations of a particular type of stalker. A strategy that may be effective in dealing with one type of stalker likely will not be effective in dealing with all stalkers.

    a) Obtain an order of protection.
    (b) Do not ignore any threat. Call the police or sheriff's department.
    (c) Save any record of the threat.
    (d) Have quick access to critical telephone numbers and the location of safe places, such as: Police Stations, friend's houses, domestic violence shelters, etc.
    (e) Consider a home security check. (Local police branches, victim support agencies, and security companies may offer this service.)
    (f) Keep a packed suitcase in the car for a quick departure.
    (g) Keep gas in your car and adequate money or credit cards in your wallet.
    (h) Limit the distribution of your home address and phone number.
    Provide business contact information instead, whenever possible.
    (i) Consider getting a Post Office Box for correspondence or installing a locking letter box.
    (j) Make sure all personal information on letters or paperwork is destroyed before discarding it. (Stalkers may go through your trash looking for personal information.)
    (k) Have your address and other contact details removed from all public records, including electoral rolls, libraries, business cards, driver's license, car registration, and medical registries.
    (l) If children are involved, they should be instructed in basic safety drills. Their school should also be notified, given information about the stalker, and security arrangements should be made for them in case the stalker appears there.
    (m) Keep a detailed diary of the stalkers behavior, including photographs of destroyed property, photographs of injuries inflicted by the stalker, recordings of harassing messages, license plate numbers, etc. -Keep pen and paper easily accessible, even in the car, for this purpose.
    (n) Install dead bolt locks. If you do not know where all of your keys are, change your locks immediately.
    (o) If possible, install outdoor lighting, lockable windows, exterior motion sensor lights, and peepholes in doors. -Trimming shrubbery is also recommended.
    (p) Vary your routes of travel.
    (q) Park in safe, well-lit areas. Always have someone escort you to and from your car.
    (r) Tell your managers, co-workers, friends, and security at your business and residence about the stalker. If possible, provide them with a description and photograph. Ask them to alert you in advance about the stalker's presence and call the police, if appropriate.
    (s) Purchase a mobile phone for emergencies.
    (t) Use an unlisted home phone number and acquire caller-ID.
    (u) Do not change your phone number. A stalker may view this as a new challenge to overcome in order to be with you, feeding their false beliefs. Instead, purchase an answering machine and ask a same-gender friend to record the message (so as not to provoke a stalker who mistakenly perceives competition).
    (w) Take self-defense training classes.
    (x) File police reports of any illegal behavior perpetrated by the stalker.

    Diffuse the unique motivations of the stalker

    (a) Make it completely clear that a relationship is not wanted now or in the future. -Say this only once. -Use plain language. -Try not to be emotional. -Avoid using threatening or humiliating language. -You may want to rehearse with a friend before speaking with the stalker. (b) Do not engage in further discussions with the stalker. -Do not argue with them. -Do not negotiate with them. -Ongoing communication will reward the stalker and lead him to maintain contact
    (15)




    Links.

    1. Stalking Behavior -A support site about the various forms of stalking.

    2. Stalking Survivors -A support site with a forum.

    3. Stalking Help -Stalking help and info.