Never ending story..

[Serenity]

I came across this forum looking for something on the internet to help me put some sense this this never ending obsessive behavior.

I was a victim of dv, my husband took the classes, completed his probation and immediately thought he had a clean bill to do whatever he wanted. He is seriously controlling and vindictive also a ruthless alcoholic. Christmas morning we left again, me and 2 kids. He had threatened to kill me with his fist in my face pushed up against a wall. The way the law seems to work is let him hit you or worse before anything is really done. I left everything except the kids. He had filed for divorce prior to that because he offered my 14 year old money to show her breasts to him.. he thought I would charge him as a pedophile. So he handed me the divorce papers again in front of the kids x-mas eve. Told me to get out of his house, wouldnt let me touch anything and even took the knobs off the water pipes so I couldnt wash clothes. So after he insister he didnt want a divorce, he loved me and if I dont allow him to call it off it would get bloody.
Months have gone by, we stayed with friends.. he fought the PPO saying he was moving to the city I was in. The PPO is in effect still but I decided to move 45 minutes the other direction since he was moving there. He posts things on the internet about me, alot under myspace so the teens show them to me. Posts pics of me saying I am a cheating wife and I like men and women. I got a PO box in another city and confidential address and unlisted phone number. Within a week of being there he sent a card to the house so I would know he knew where we were. I had company 3 times. My phones start ringing and he is screaming "get him out now".. he tells my little one who is 6 that he has cameras on our house and he knows everything we do. He has my little one ask me if I watch the cheaters show on tv.. its funny. He calls me every name you can think of in front of my son too my son for him to repeat it too me. He has told me numerous times that he is moving a couple blocks over from me now. He is supposed to move in 2 weeks from what he tells the little one. There is alot involved he has threatened our 2 teens. My daughter is sick to her stomach everyday and scared.. I hate it.. I try not to worry about it hoping nothing bad happens. He stole a key to my van so I had to have the locks on my vehicle changed, I know he broke into the garage and stole the poles that secured the side doors. I havent lived where we are but 1 1/2 months. These kids are scared and I guess my only option is to move again but I cant afford too. This man dont want a divorce so dont show up to court. my attorney bill is at 4600.00 and I cant even afford milk for these kids, he dont pay any child support because he said he disolved his business (was self emplyed). I know it not true but he convinces the foc he only eats every other day etc.. but he wouldnt give us our things he bought a new place , new furniture, new car.. he has 3 vehicles and no drivers license for 2 dui's in the last 7 years. Im overwhelmed. 2 seperate counties are notified, I make reports as told.. but cant they stop someone from moving in a couple blocks from you?? I have given them al the documentation of his threats of finding me etc. Now he threatening that my friends at the police department.. if I am wrong... he not supposed to call, text he does. Doesnt seem to matter, the PPO seems worthless.

I dont think it will ever end.. its been 7 months and I am exhausted, physically, emotionally and financially. I tend to think that all the ads about domestic violence and stalking are money makers for the state, really dont do anything to stop the violence. This is the reason so many women return to the person who abuses them, the state makes money and leave the women and children in the poor house.
Just my opinion but honesty.. I am so fearful and exhausted I am ready to give up.
Thanks for listening.. hopefully other stories are more positive.

[Soldier]

Hi Serenity,

Welcome to the forum, it sounds like you are going through a great deal at the moment. Do you keep a blog to document what is happening to you? It might help other targets of this kind of domestic violence.

I can understand about being physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, sometimes you are all you have, and all the kids have.

Do you have a computer? You can get a skype phone, this way he is not likely to get your number. The mailbox, who are you giving access to it? He is getting the info from someone or something.

Moving is exhaustive and expensive, choose and area for battle as best as you can. Let those around you know what you are comfortable with sharing.

Honestly going to forums, and finding various forms of support is a good start. Also make sure your kids have an outlet as best as they can, you don't need them to fall apart in the middle of this.

I agree that this is why women often go back to abusive spouses, lack of support. Sometimes you have to become your own form of support.

[Serenity]

Soldier, Thank you for the suggestions. I had the kids in counseling but I had to pull them out because I can barely keep the rent and daycare paid for, he has left me financially strapped. I am hoping things change a bit, the DM shelter helped me modify the PPo and also do a violation of the PPO, then my attorney did a order for show cause breaking yet another court order. He is supposed to move down the street from me this weekend, really nervous.

I keep a journal but have never done a blog.
Thanks again!